Some Constructive Critisism

Now I don't mean this to come off as harsh, I'm just striving to improve all our shows as a whole. You guys can probably see parts which I could improve, and if so I'd love for you to point them out to me. It's so much easier to see areas to be improved in others than seeng areas to improve in your own work.


So here it is. This is aimed at both EHC and Ben

Basically I feel both of you could benefit from going into more detail in your match endings. Here's an example I've picked up

*Silva is now on the top turnbuckle(if you watched the video)- Just as he is about to jump onto Wells, Luc Ledesma makes his way to ringside. While Silva is yelling at Luc, Ryan gets to his feet and pulls Silva down and goes for the pin.

Carter: Wow, Ryan has it won now

One

Two

Kickout by Silva

Harry: Just in the nick of time

*Wells grabs Silva’s arm, pulling him up- he then whips him into the corner. Wells follows that up with a big splash to Silva in the corner. Silva is dazed, Well then sets him up for the “Freak Attack”- then rolls him up for the pin.

Carter: Wow, its over now- Silva got distracted, but man oh man- I am so glad Ryan is back- just look at those muscles

One

Two

Three

So you've get a fair bit going on here, lets break it down

*Silva is now on the top turnbuckle(if you watched the video)- Just as he is about to jump onto Wells, Luc Ledesma makes his way to ringside. While Silva is yelling at Luc, Ryan gets to his feet and pulls Silva down and goes for the pin.

Carter: Wow, Ryan has it won now

One

Two

Kickout by Silva

Harry: Just in the nick of time

Here's how I'd do it

Silva is now on the top turnbuckle, waiting for the freak to climb up to his feet so that he can hit him with whatever aerial manouver his twisted mind has in store. Just as he is about to jump off though...

It's Ledesma!

Luc Ledesma's music blares out around the arena as he makes his way out onto the stage, catching the attention of the man he attacked at Untamed Khaos, Silva

Harry: It's Ledesma!

Carter: What's he doing here?

Harry: Well if you'd read his bio then you'd realise he has some underlying beef with Silva

Silva, still on the top turnbuckle, is staring a hole through Ledesma up on the ramp. Suddenly Wells is up and quickly runs up onto the top rope with Silva, grasps him around the waist then hurls them both off hitting a huge Kurt Angle-esque Top Rope Belly To Belly Suplex

Harry: What a move!

Carter: It's got to be over

Wells crawls over to Silva and lays an arm over him and the ref counts...

One

Two

Thr-

Harry: No, Silva powers a shoulder up

Carter: Just in the nick of time too

Then for this bit:

*Wells grabs Silva’s arm, pulling him up- he then whips him into the corner. Wells follows that up with a big splash to Silva in the corner. Silva is dazed, Well then sets him up for the “Freak Attack”- then rolls him up for the pin.

Carter: Wow, its over now- Silva got distracted, but man oh man- I am so glad Ryan is back- just look at those muscles

One

Two

Three

I'd do:

Wells pounds the mat in frustration but gets up to his feet without taking the issue further with the ref. He stands next to Silva as he too slowly gets up to his feet. He then proceeds to wind up his arm ala Skip Sheffield

Harry: It's Freak Attack time!

Harry's not wrong. As soon as Silva makes it up to a vertical base Ryan runs the ropes and charges back slamming Silva with a ground shaking clothesline flipping Silva backwards onto his chest. He rolls him over and hooks a leg

Carter: Wow, its over now- Silva got distracted, but man oh man- I am so glad Ryan is back- just look at those muscles

One

Two

Three

Do you see what I did there? In my eyes it was a lot better than yours. It's all about the detail. I put in the exact same content as you, in fact I missed out the corner clothesline, but I just put in a lot of detail, and I think it made it a lot better. If you two could put that in your shows, it'd make them even better

As I said, this isn't a dig at either of you, just a bit of constructive criticism. Give me your feedback to this, does it help? Also give me your critiques of my writing, it'll help us all improve

I'll take all this into account and try better

Alrighty, I will improve