EHC promos for supershow

Putting them in here because you inbox is full on EWN Rob

Mike Muir Promo:

Ashley: I am back here with Mike Muir who made an impressive showing in the tournament foe the PAIN! Heavyweight Championship. Tonight on EWAs New Years Supershow you are taking on Douglas Blake. Are you ready for him? Do you have a strategy?

Mike Muir: Well yes I do Ashley. Its simple, he is a big man but with his limited repertoire I will just out wrestle him. I’ve seen his kind time and time again- and they are all the same. I sure hope Blake watched my debut match against Destruction so he knows what is coming his way. And before I go, I just want to wish you and all the viewers I very Happy New Years. New York is the best city to celebrate it in.

* Not gonna do that after every Muir promo, just did that to show that he is a nice guy
Gruber promo

Ashley: Ok I am backstage again, this time with Hanz Gruber. Hanz you are taking on Ryku O”Ryan tonight, what are your thoughts?

Hanz: I’ve seen O’Ryan in action before his arrival to EWA, and I will say I am quite impressed. He has been trained by one of the best out there- HBK and it shows. But one thing he lacks is the world wide experience of a superior athlete as myself. I also have had the benefit of being trained in many styles, by many different people. The Panzer brothers, the Funks, Bryan Danielson, Dos Caras Jr and many others. So O’Ryan, tonight you will get an education in the ring. Hopefully you will learn from it and prosper on PAIN!

Ashley: Well that was nice of you Ha…..

Hanz: Sorry, I forgot one last thing. Speaking of learning from something, The Archangel thinks just because he was allowed in the main event last week that he is back in line for the title. Well I just go two words for you, FUCK YOU, back in line for you little one. You had your chance at the midget Kidd and lost. Ok that was more than two words, sue me.

Ashley: interview with Richards, jobber one, jobber 2- Rob you can just work this into including Rchards any way you can.

Taco: Yes, both me and me brother did not make good impression on the first episode of PAIN! To be honest we both work better as a unicorn.

Paco: Taco, the correct word is “unit” a unicorn is a horny horse , but continue.

Taco: Sorry, my English is not so well. But we did our best in our separate matches, as did that time keeper.

Paco: But me brother, the time keeper was not involved in the match. He is just a time keeper. But I am sad that he got hurted. And if it were not for Harry Richards we would be even more hurter that we already am.

Taco: So Harry, thanks for coming to our rescue, and for tagging with us tonight. I think me and me brothers wrestling styles will work perfectly with yours. And we can all teach those dirty gringos a thing or two.

Paco: Taco, Harry is a gringo too

Taco: Si, but a good one.

*a song comes over the PA that has never been heard before here in EWA

arghhhhh can not post the song here- you will have to look on the ewa roster page for the link

·*A very stunning woman dressed in a black skintight shirt, and short black miniskirt makes her way to the ring with a mic in one hand, a clipboard in the other. Some in the crowd are whistling at her, while some are shouting for her to show them her puppies.

Rich: All I can say is WOW, just look at that. That’s perfection.

Herb: Ok, first you have a thing for Killa, now for this lady. I will admit, she is very hot so I understand that, but I am concerned about your thing for Killa. I wonder who this is though.

Rich: I do not have a thing for Killa, not in that way. With him….

Herb: Hold that thought Rich. Looks like she is about to say something.

Barbie: My god, you American fans sure are pigs, much worse than the swine in England. None of you here in New York would stand a chance landing a woman like me- beautiful, smart, successful and wealthy. Speaking of being successful, through out Europe I have managed many a talent to gold. Of course all the rednecks here in America have probably never heard of any of them because if it’s not EWA, HWA, BWA, AWF, WWE, ROH, TNA or JBW- the rest of the wrestling world does not exist. So for the benefit of all you losers, I will not bore you with a list of them.

*crowd is shouting show me your puppies! show me your puppies!

*teases the crowd by lifting her shirt a little, then pulls it down and flips off the crowd, the crowd starts booing her now

Rich: Dammit. I hate cock teasers. Speaking of……

Herb: Um, Rich, please do not……

Rich: I am, umm, just adjusting my pants, that’s all, really.

Herb: Alrirghty then.

Barbie: Ha ha, you’re all idiots. You guys don’t get to see shit. Oh, and by the way, I do not mean to be so rude, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Ute, but everybody calls me Barbie due to the fact that some idiot from Pro Wrestling Illustrated confused me with Barbie Blank, who most of you know as Kelly Kelly in WWE. Ms Blank just wishes she were me. Anyways the name stuck. But let me just get straight to the point as to why I am here, there is a tag team here that got in touch with me that said they seemed to be in somewhat of a losing streak in this fed. They were wanting some guidance, someone to work through all the backstage politics so all the had to do was wrestle and sometimes do interviews with that dumb blonde backstage.

Rich: Hey, that’s our dumb blonde she is talking about.

Herb: Ashley is a very lovely lady, smarter that you will ever be.

Rich: Go fuck yourself Herbie.

Barbie: Normally I would never lower myself to coming to such a little league fed such as this, but this team is different. That team is the Panzer Division. What’s different about them is they are the real thing. When I first started out managing wrestlers, those two guys helped guide me through it all, making sure my clients or the promoters in the feds never took advantage of me. They taught me the ins and outs of this business. Everything I learned, I owe to them. On top of all that, they are family. Karl and Oli are my older brothers. So when they called, I dropped everything. With me behind them, they will regain their focus here and soon hold gold. I also plan to scout out other talent here in EWA to add to my clientele. So those interested best be showing me their best- I have no time for losers. But first things first, allow me to introduce the new Panzer Division.

*Panzers come out to their theme song

*Panzers enter the ring with mics in hand and give little sister a hug

Rich: Looks like the old Panzers, only with a hot new addition.

Herb: This is one of those rare times when I agree with you Rich.

Rich: Which thanks, er I think.

Karl: Its nice to have you here Barbie, with all you have accomplished we felt it was time to bring you in just to give us that extra edge. Someone to keep us on the straight and narrow. Someone to take care of all the backstage bullshit.

Oli: Ja, its because of all the politics backstage as to why we are not the rightful number one contenders. But with you by our side Barbie, that changes today.